Today marks one month since Mother, her two sons, and two daughters were attacked in their home by Stephen Michael Clare, ex-husband. she was shot, her daughters were stabbed, and her boys barely escaped. They were hunted like they were animals. Two doors were kicked in and destroyed in the process. Her bed was pulled out 4-5 feet so he could check for children who might be hiding underneath. Closet doors were ripped off the hinges. The attack was vicious and purely evil. It can’t be convinced that it wasn’t planned. I think he had been planning it for weeks…maybe months.
Less than two hours after midnight tomorrow morning, it will be one month since Willow passed away. My baby was stabbed multiple times and she experienced a completely severed artery. He left her on the floor as she bled out. They tried everything they could to keep her with me. For a massage of her heart, they even opened her chest. Her soul went to be with Jesus while she laid next to her sister in recovery. Even during the surgery we believed would save her life, she fought for more than six hours.
Her little heart just couldn’t handle what her body had suffered. I wasn’t even able to be there with her in her final moments because I was in critical condition at a different hospital.All I was left with was a pile of her blood and her refrigerated corpse; a nightmarish image that will be burned into my mind for the rest of my life.
Rosalie can remember everything her father did to me, her, and her baby sister. She recounts it regularly. She cries during diaper changes. She doesn’t want to take baths. She doesn’t want to be touched. She is absolutely traumatized. Rosalie received four stab wounds to the abdomen. It required two surgeries to reattach her intestines in all four places. Every day, she sobs from stomach pain. She wakes up in the middle of the night and hits herself in the face because of her nightmares.
I suffered 6 gunshot wounds (one to the face), two surgeries (abdominal and facial), a broken hip, a broken jaw, a perforated sinus, and lots of bruising from getting beaten by his fists, knees, and the gun. I lost a portion of my small bowel and had to live with a drain for nearly a month. I still can’t open my jaw because my upper right jaw is shattered from the impact of the bullet. I have to see more specialists and physical therapists than I could recall if you asked me to write them down on paper.
We are all suffering from anxiety and PTSD. We all shake. None of us can sleep. Every loud noise sounds like gunshots. There have been many moments of fear and tears. Stephen’s only concern ever since his arrest has been how he will pay his bond. Jail is uncomfortable for him and he wants to go home. He has no remorse. He has no regret. His actions have only made us more traumatized; it is agonizing to consider the possibility that he might escape and come looking for us. Fortunately the judge raised his bond amount, but he will absolutely fight it. I’m just praying they don’t let that monster out of his cage.
I am going to continue to tell my story, as graphic as it may be, to raise awareness for domestic violence.I speak for countless numbers of women and children. Additionally, I want our abuser to be held accountable for his actions. No matter how much suffering he is going through in prison, it will never compare to the level of suffering we are going through.
IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW ARE BEING ABUSED, AND I DON’T MEAN ONLY PHYSICALLY, PLEASE CONTACT ME. We will brainstorm. We will fight for your freedom. I know what mistakes I made. I should have yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs. I shouldn’t have let the justice system throw me in a corner to die. I will advocate for you better than I did for myself. The system sets victims up to fail. They only defend the criminals’ rights.Let’s change that together. Let’s accomplish this for Willow, you, and your kids. Thanks for staying with me. I know this was long. I love you and I am praying for you.